Tales of My Shady Past

Tales of My Shady Past: The Birth

Tales of My Shady Past

On the morning of February 11th, 1999 I was admitted to the maternity wing of the local hospital to induce labor due to a horrendous rash I had developed.  I did not inform Sperm Donor #1 (that’s what I will refer to him as from this point forward) that I was going to the hospital and did not feel I needed to until things were moving along.

After enduring hours of being on Pitocin and not seeing much progress, the nurses were contacting my physician to get permission to release me.  The moment the nurse walked in the room to tell me they were sending me on my merry way, I sat up in bed and my water broke.  That’s when I decided I should probably give Sperm Donor #1 a call and let him know his son would be gracing us with his presence soon.  When I made that call he informed me that he was only coming up to the hospital if his new girlfriend could join him.  Seriously!? Did he really just ask me that???  You bet your ass he did!  I, of course, told him no.  He was welcome to be there when his son was born however she was not.

Needless to say……he did not show.

My beautiful little boy was born at 6:59 the following morning and I was kind enough to inform Sperm Donor #1 within a half an hour that his son had arrived.  I, again, informed him he was more than welcome to come meet his son but reminded him that his new girlfriend was not on the invitation.  Apparently, he didn’t get that memo because when he finally showed up over an hour later, he walked into my hospital room and there she was…..right behind him….the new girlfriend.  Yep. That’s how I met her. Hours after giving birth, in my hospital gown in all that sweaty glory, there she stood holding my newborn son. (Imagine my anger!!!!!)

I can tell you this.  I did get more revenge that day.  Sperm Donor #1 was shocked that 1. I had given my son a completely different name from what we had discussed months ago. 2. I had not given my son his father’s name as his middle name and apparently broke family tradition. and 3. My son had my last name, not his father’s.

As far as I was (and still am) concerned, he is MY son.  Yes, I said it….MY SON!

Needless to say, Sperm Donor #1 did not stick around at the hospital very long.  He did however return later that night by himself.  He immediately addressed the issue he had with my son’s name.  He was not happy.  At one point he told me that I had given my son a ‘fag’ name.  Yes, those are his exact words.  This came right out of his mouth as he is sitting there holding my newborn baby boy.

Not even 10 minutes after he makes this inappropriate comment in regards to my son’s name, he goes on to tell me…..

Sperm Donor #1:   You’ll never guess what I did?

Me:   What?

Sperm Donor #1:   I bought her a ring and asked her to marry me.

Me:  Get the hell out of my hospital room and don’t ever plan on coming back!!

And yes, that’s exactly how it went down. This S.O.B. got engaged to a woman he knew for 2 seconds and decides to announce it to me less then 24 hours after I had just given birth to his offspring.


Be sure to stay tuned for what happened next!

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